So fucking done!

I am so done with boys! Seriously this time.

I know I just blogged about this guy that I have fallen head over heels for...

Well, I did a little research and found out that, yes, he is visiting his ex-girlfriend in Europe! And she might think that they are still together... fucking a!

Of course this did not stop him from a) sleeping in my bed, b) telling me that i am amazing, beautiful, and all that bullshit, or c) inviting me to come out to visit him in Colorado and allowing me to buy a plane ticket.

What the fuck!

So, I am done with them for a loooooooong time. It all ends in me getting my fucking heart broken. Please excuse my profanity, but finding that stuff out tonight was crushing. At least it allows me to start the new year off with a fresh, clean plate!

During the last year, my life changed dramatically. I got my feet back on the ground and am headed in a great direction professionally and financially. However, my personal life leaves much to be desired. So, in 2008, I hope to not only keep things going the way they are in my professional/financial life, but I also hope that my personal life changes dramatically for the better.

I wish that I could follow the wise words of Marilyn Monroe when it comes to men:
"A wise girl kisses but does not love, listens but does not believe, and leaves before she is left."

10 Things Every Woman Needs to Get Rid of Right Now

1. Fear of flaunting - in bed, at the office, on the dance floor. Be proud of what you've got!
2. Any really sincere desire to sleep with a celebrity.
3. A job that drains your time, energy and joie de vivre in exchange for - what, exactly?
4. Your "skinny" clothes that only firt after the stomach flu.
5. Cigarettes.
6. Rage. It may (very occasionally) be justified, but it's rarely worth being known as "that crazy lady in 2B."
7. Any guy who doesn't keep his word.
8. That friend who always makes you feel worse about yourself instead of better.
9. The agony you relive when you think of that really embarassing thing you did ... a year ago.
10. Your sex tape!

From the January 2008 Glamour.

In case you have yet to notice...

I love to find lyrics and quotations that are fitting to my life, mood, feelings, or dreams. Whether it be a song, a poem, a quip from a novel, a news story, or a simple quote, there is something out there that perfectly sums up my situation.

Thus, if I just randomly insert lyrics to a song, a line from a book, or a quote, there is a reason. It sheds light on my life. Might give you a new insight on my feelings, emotions, and outlook.

Happy Sunday!

"Gotta Have You" by The Weepies

"Dreams" by Boyz II Men

Here I am again, wondering if you're okay
Can't stop this troubled heart
Cause we're apart, miles away
Phone pressed up to my ear
Wish you were here, holding me
A face to go with your sweet voice
Will bring me joy, totally

I know I can't be there
But baby it's alright
I'll be waiting for you, tonight
I pray that you'll be there
When I close my eyes
Meet me in my dreams, tonight

One thing that never changes
No matter whatI can't wait to see you
Can't wait to feel you
And there's a place of our own, where we can go
Nobody knows
I close my eyes real tight
And make love to you all night

I know I can't be there
Baby it's alright
I'll be waiting for you, tonight
I pray that you'll be there
When I close my eyes
Meet me in my dreams, tonight

I wish I may, I wish you might
Find some time when you sleep tonight
To think of me and I'll appear before your eyes
It's my paradise, your world
You are my heart, my life, my girl
Oh, can't wait to go to sleep
Cause there's a possibility, you'll meet me

Ohh, oh oh oh oh
Ohh yeah, oh yeah
I know...

I know I can't be there
Baby it's alright
I'll be waiting for you, tonight
I pray that you'll be there
When I close my eyes
Meet me in my dreams, tonight

I know I can't be there
Baby it's alright
I'll be waiting for you, tonight
I pray that you'll be there
When I close my eyes
Meet me in my dreams, tonight

Two Things

1. Did I mention that I am going to Texas and Colorado in February? I am going to Austin, TX, to visit my best friend from High School, Sara Kelly, and one of my best friends from Kenyon, Andrea Scott. I will be visiting the law school at Colorado University and the boy from the previous posts. I can't wait for the trip! I will be flying into Austin on 2/14 and leaving for Denver on 2/20. I believe that I fly back to Ohio on 2/25. A nice long vacation for me to look forward. Hopefully reward for doing well on LSAT round #2.
2. I also started a new blog. The new blog is called "Fifteen in 45." It is dedicated to my diet goal/new year's resolution of dropping fifteen pounds in the first fourty-five days of 2008. You can check it out at www.fifteenin45.blogspot.com

Cosmo Horoscope of the Day

The stars urge you to forget that you're a conservative girl and grab a personal (cute guy alert!) or career (dream job?) opportunity that might suddenly appear today, courtesy of surprising Uranus.

It has been a few weeks...

SORRY!! I haven't forgotten about this blog, but I just have had too much going on to write. Depressing, I know.

I would love to give you a brief synopsis of the past few weeks, but due to time contsraints (on your part) I will just let you know about where I am at today.

First, I am studying for the LSAT's again. I got my scores back from the first test. I did well, but I know that I can do better. Most of my apps are due by March 15th and the LSAT is Feb. 2nd. I am spending the entirity of the month of January studying. Jealous, aren't you?

Also, starting Sunday December 30th, I am starting a serious diet. My goal is to lose 15 pounds in 45 days. I know that might sound absurd, but I know that I can do it. First, I will save money. Second, I am going to Texas and Colorado in February to see some old friends and I want to look good...duh :)

Meredith and I had our annual Tacky Holiday Sweater Party last weekend, and needless to say, no one was disappointed. People actually made the two hour trek down to Chillicothe for the party. I was shocked. The punch was good, the outfits were ridiculous, and the music was perfect. Although there are a few moments that I don't remember perfectly, I had a wonderful time. Friends from high school, college, and from Chillicothe were in attendance. It was nice to have every period of my life represented!

This guy (to remain nameless), who I have been friends with since college and currently lives 20 hours away, came to the party. I am completely head over heels infatuated with the kid; even though my roommate says that he looks like a surfer dude and despite the fact that Pete has pointed out that he constantly flicks his hair. We had a great time the night of the party and then the following night we went to the zoo and looked at the lights. I wish that I would have been feeling better to enjoy it more, but I just enjoyed spending time and just talking with him (the kissing wasn't that bad either ;)). Unfortunately his free time was sparse, he is now in Europe. Yep, Europe. I didn't dig for details on the trip because I am assuming that it is to visit his ex-girlfriend (hopefully not his current girlfriend). I hate this. Hopefully, I am assuming wrong. But girls have a sixth sense and just get that feeling. Anyways, I just hate the fact that I fall for people whom I shouldn't. He has been so sweet, nice, etc. so far that I just know it is going to end not the way that I would want it too!

Basically he has been the one guy friend of mine who has kept in touch with me since college. And I will emphasize the fact that he has kept in touch with me. I wasn't always as receptive as I am now. I used to just see him as a friend... until last year when he kissed me before he left to go back to CO. For me, I don't relish in the fact that he kissed me. Instead, I think about how he has to have done this with all of these other girls and how many other girls does he constantly text, etc. I hate the fact that I am a complete pessimist when it comes to boys. Completely and utterly hate it. And what makes it worse, is that he has always been the one guy who has been there for me through every guy telling me that they weren't good enough, that i didn't deserve them. I just wish that I could trust a guy again. I have learned through the past year to love again, now I just want to trust again.

Back to the fact that he has been the only guy friend to really reach out to me since college to be my friend... I guess, I just keep comparing this in my mind to my sister and Jay. How Jay was the only person to really keep in touch with her when she moved out to Montana and when she came back, he was right there for her. I just wish my guy would move back to Ohio and then we could take off where Chrissie and Jay did... i.e. on the way to something more permanent. Ha ha. Not going to happen. But, I can wish!

And I know that I am just rattling on and on without much of a point thus far. My point is that I like a guy that doesn't live anywhere close to me, I don't trust men of any shape, size or color, I want to find happiness, and I am sad.

That is right, I am sad. I hate being sad and depressed. This guy and I would talk everyday and constantly be texting each other. I know that sounds ridiculous for two twenty-somethings to be constantly texting, but it puts a smile across my face and happy thoughts in my mind. And I know it does the same thing for him, because he told me so! And he left for Europe yesterday. I know that it has only been one day, but I just miss hearing from him and I can't help but wonder who he is traveling with or whom he is visiting. And that of course makes me sick... makes me sick to think that he probably really isn't mine or ever going to be mine.

I don't like to ramble on about guys, but this is the only place that I feel that I can really talk about it. I am scared to tell my family things, or tell them everything in that they have already blamed me for losing John awhile back (which was not my fault at all!). I also can't confide in my roommate really. She doesn't really like him, granted she does not know him at all. But, why make fun of someone that you know your roommate likes when you yourself really don't know him at all? Yeah, I thought so.

So, please just wish me well and if you have any ideas on how I can distract myself these next two weeks... let me know!

I am thinking about having someone screen all future guys for me. Maybe hang a sign outside my door that says "Only serious inquiries permitted".

I really just don't want to be lonely for the rest of my life.

Freestyle/Backstroke Workout

Today was the first day that I haven't gotten in the pool for a couple of weeks. I wasn't sure how much I would be able to do as I am still a bit sick and quite out of shape. However, for the 45 minutes that I was in the water, I managed to swim 2300 yards. Go me!

200 EZ Choice Warm Up
4 x 75 Kick, Step Down 1-4
4 x 75 Pull, Step Down 1-4
3 x [3 x 50]
1) 25 free/25 stroke
2) 25 stroke/25 free
3) 50 stroke fast
3 x [4 x 75]
1) 75 free
2) 50 free/25 stroke
3) 25 free/50 stroke
4) 75 stroke
150 EZ Warm Down


I did all the stroke work backstroke as that was my specialty back in the day.

A return...

I'm back!

It has been a couple of weeks since I last made an entry, and I am sorry. Thanksgiving was here, my grandfather had open heart surgery, I came down with strep throat (again), and I took the LSAT. Now that that is all over, a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I am ready to go on with my life.

Stay tuned for future posts. I plan to focus on swimming workouts for my team and for myself, the pros and cons of being single during the holidays, and the process of applying to law school.

Until then...

Day 7

Diet: 8 (as of 2:00 pm)

Workout:
TREADMILL

SWIMMING
300 Swim
200 Pull
200 Kick
6 x 50 stroke (25 drill, 25 swim) on a 1:00
total: 1000 yards

WEIGHTS

Final Countdown

The countdown is on... 11 days until I take the LSAT.

And the nerves are starting to get to me.

It seems that everytime I start studying and getting very serious about it, something tragic happens. First, I came down with bronchitis. Then, I hurt my back. After that, last Sunday I came down with strep throat and then this past Sunday I caught the stomach flu!! My stomach is still a little queasy, but I am going to start studying my nose off tonight! So, any free time I have from here on out will be spent with LSAT study book in hand.

Except for Wednesday night...

As we all know, I am a twenty-something living in rural Ohio... and the night before Thanksgiving is the night to go out on the town, the night that everyone goes out. So, I will be out and about in my new town - not the one that I grew up in.

Unfortunately, due to my lack of going out in the past months - everyone at the bar misses me. Seems like either I spend too much time at the bar when I am not studying or this town is not used to people of my caliber... I would like to think that I leave such a positive impression on these folks, that they just miss my fun-loving soul at the bar.

So, I will not be drinking much tomorrow night as I will have to study up until the point that I go out and I will have to wake up early on Thursday morning to head to Thanksgiving dinner.

Days 4,5 & 6

So, I went home for the weekend to celebrate my Grandma Gregg's 80th birthday and my Grandma Gingi's 81st birthday. Needless to say, my diet and workout routine slipped. I walked 2 miles on Saturday but ate terribly. Sunday, I ate healthy and planned on going to for a run and swimming with my kids - but I ended up with the stomach flu. Yesterday, Day 6, I recovered from the flu.

Today, I will run and swim. And maybe even lift. I plan to try to lift on Tuesday's and Thursday's as I am doing abwork with the kids on Monday's and Wednesday's. Wish me luck!

Day 3

Diet: 9 (so far)

Workout:
TREADMILL
Ran 2.0 miles at an average of 6.2 mph, incline of 1.0.

SWIMMING
3 x (100 free + 50 sp)
200 dolphin kick on back
4 x (100 free + 50 back) pull
6 x 50 kick on a 1:00
3 x (100 IM hard + 50 easy)
200 cool down
total: 2200 yards

"All That I Want" by The Weepies

It is exciting to hear when some of your favorite songs have made it onto t.v. commercials or into the background music of t.v. shows. This is a Holiday song that I have listened to on my computer and iPod for months, but has recently been heard on a jewelry store's Christmas ad.

Out in the harbor

The ships come in, it's Christmastime

The kids all holler carols 'cross the water

Stars that shine

All that I want, all that I want

Above the rooftops

The full moon dips its golden spoon

I wait on clip-clops, deer might fly

Why not? I met you

All that I want, all that I want

And when the night is falling

Down the sky at midnight

Another year is stalling

Far away a good bye, good night

All that I want, all that I want, all that I want

So small a turning

The world grows older every day

An ache, a yearning

Soften when I hear you say

All that I want, all that I want

And when the cold wind's blowing

Snow drifts through the pine trees

In houses lights are glowing

Likewise in your eyes that find me here

With all that I want.

Out in the harbor

The ships come in, it's Christmastime

It's Christmastime

It's Christmastime.

Within the next 7 days...

Yesterday we had our first snow! It was so exciting to see the little snowflakes hit my windshield as I was driving through the Hocking Hills. A gorgeous site!

The snowflakes got me even more excited for the upcoming Holidays!! Thanksgiving (my favorite Holiday) is just a week from yesterday!!! I cannot wait for a little extra special family time!

Speaking of family time, I get to go today to meet up with my mother, my aunt Martha from Dallas, my older sister and her two kids. We will meet at the mall and do a little shopping. Quality girl time nonetheless. I will hopefully be getting my glasses repaired (or new ones) while we are there.

Then tomorrow, it is the BIG GAME. OSU vs Michigan at the Big House in Michigan. Hopefully OSU will win, because I would not want the game to overshadow our evening plans. We will be celebrating my grandmother's 80th birthday on Saturday night at the Alcove. Yay!

Next week, after my favorite Holiday, my best friend from high school is getting married. On Saturday I will serve with pride, and neglect thinking of myself as an afterthought, as the guestbook attendant at Sara's wedding. Ha ha ha. Funny, huh.

Anyways, despite all the things going on this coming week, I will still have to find time to study for the LSAT. Wish me luck!!

Day 2

Diet: 5 (went down from a 7)

Workout:
TREADMILL
Intervals of walking for a mile at an average of 4.2 mph, incline of 2.0 and then running for 1/2 mile at an average speed of 6.4 mph. I did this twice and then finished with a mile walk up hill, increasing to an incline of 6.0 at 4.3 mph.

SWIMMING
500 every 4th 25 no free
3 x 200 pull, breathing 3's and focusing on tight turns
6 x 50 kick on a 1:00
4 x 200 (100 free, 100 back, every 4th 25 FAST)
300 easy cool down
total 2500 yards

Yesterday was a great swim workout! I was asked by a triathelete if she could train with me and I was asked to joing a masters swim team. Yay! I felt pretty good, and wiped out!

Project Runway: Season 4

When turning on Bravo at 10 pm last night, I was apprehensive about what to expect. The previous seasons have left me wanting more, needing more. However, without an outstanding slate of characters (aka designers), the show would die like so many reality t.v. shows have.

Last night was a taste of a season that will go far beyond the previous three seasons. Not only were the designers intriguing people, but they were absolutely amazing designers from the beginning. I cannot wait until next Wednesday night, and in the mean time will probably watch last night's episode on rerun at least twice!

Day 1

So, I decided that this would be a good place to keep track of my workouts and diet. I will write down what I did workout-wise and then rate my diet on a scale from 1-10.

Workout:
TREADMILL
Walked 1 mile at an average speed of 3.9 mph with an average incline of 2.0
Ran 1 mile at an average speed of 6.5 mph with an incline of 1.0

SWIMMING
3 x (100 free + 50 stroke)
5 x 100 fast kick, :15 sec rest in between
Ladder Set:
25 free 125 back
50 free 100 back
75 free 75 back
100 free 50 back
125 free 25 back
4 x 100 pull, breathing 3's
200 easy cool down
total: 2300 yards

Thank God for Antibiotics.

Ok, so I know I promised a post about the obsession with perfection, but that will have to wait. I have so much more to fill you in on.

First, this weekend was a mess. Friday night I decided to go out for the first time in over a month. I did, and it began as a very enjoyable evening. It was great having people at my favorite hang out tell me that they missed seeing me during the past month. However, I probably had too much fun!

I ended up meeting tons of new people and giving my number to everyone. (Mistake #1). And then ended up going to some random guys house with Meredith and another boy. We danced and played guitar hero (except I think someone - not me - might have broken it). I ended up not going to bed until 5:45 AM! (Mistake #2).

Why would not going to bed until 5:45 AM be a mistake? you might ask. Well, I had to be at the YMCA to leave for a swim meet at 6:45 AM. One hour of sleep after a wild night out is not enough. Especially to be around kids all day!! I felt terribly guilty and like an awful person.

Now, let's move on to Sunday. Sunday I had to spend all day with my boss and another co-worker at Veteran's events. The day was rainy and cold; miserable to be outside. My boss let my co-worker and I leave a bit early, at 4:00. So, since she was crashing for the night at my house, we couldn't just go back to my house. What would we do from 4 until we went to bed? So, we wasted some time perusing around Wal-Mart and then went to dinner at Max & Erma's. Exciting, I know. When we were eating dinner, I noticed that my throat was sore and that I was having a hard time warming up. Needless to say, we were on the couch in our pj's watching t.v. by 6:30. (Again, way too early). I ended up falling asleep at 8:15 (I know, I am an amazing hostess). I didn't wake up until 8:15 in the morning. I never sleep for that long. I knew something was wrong just by examining my sleep pattern.

It was also hard not to notice the fact that my throat was so sore and swollen that I couldn't swallow anything! So, I spent yet another day with my two bosses and a co-worker celebrating Veterans' Day. However, this time I could not talk nor could I turn my head because my glands were so swollen. Unfortunately, I could not get into the doctor's until the following morning.

That night I ended up sleeping for 15 hours without even trying. I actually tried to stay awake for my favorite t.v. show, How I Met Your Mother, but couldn't. Fifteen hours compared to my usual five was a red flag that I was really sick.

So, I went to the doctor. The first thing he said to me upon observing my symptoms was: "Oh my, I feel so bad for you. I haven't seen glands this swollen in over a year. I will definitely make sure I treat you well." That made me feel good...not.

Strep Throat. Just what someone in my job needs.

However, after the antibiotics, I was finally able to eat last night and didn't sleep very well. I felt so much better.

Today I worked all day, coached swim practice, ran, and swam the most yardage that I have in years.

So, I urge you all to praise antibiotics. Without them, I would probably never be allowed to leave my house.

Thank a Veteran

Today is Veterans' Day. Luckily, as part of my job, I have to attend several Veterans' Day activities to honor those who have served for our country. These events not only make me so proud of all the men and women who have defended our great nation, but they also inspire me to do what I can to help. So today, please take a moment to thank a Veteran, attend a Veteran's Day activity, or donate to a Veteran's charity.

Happy Veterans' Day!

Next Post: Obsession with Perfection

Will be coming shortly!

Who wants to go shoe shopping?

Interesting...

Your feet and shoes are linked to your sexual desires. "There's a part of the brain called the sensory strip, in which the foot area is close to the clitoral area," says Daniel Amen, M.D., psychiatrist and author of Making a Good Brain Great. "So going shoe shopping together is like foreplay."
(Women's Health Magazine)

"Realize" by Colbie Caillat

Take time to realize

That your warmth is

Crashing down on me

Take time to realize

That I am on your side

Well didn't I, didn't I tell you

But I can't spell it out for you

No it's never gonna be that simple

No I can't spell it out for you

If you just realize

What I just realized

That we'd be perfect for each other

And we'll never find another

Just realize

What I just realized

We'd never have to wonder

If we missed out on each other, now

Take time to realize

Oh oh, I'm on your side

Didn't I, didn't I tell you

Take time to realize

This all could pass you by

Didn't I, didn't I tell you

But I can't spell it out for you

No it's never gonna be that simple

No I can't spell it out for you

If you just realized

What I just realized

That we'd be perfect for each other

And we'll never find another

Just realize

What I just realized

We'd never have to wonder

If we missed out on each other, but

It's not the same

No it's never the same

If you don't feel it too

If you meet me half way

If you would meet me half way

It could be the same for you

If you just realized

What I just realized

That we'd be perfect for each other

And we'll never find another

Just realize

What I just realized

We'd never have to wonder

If we missed out on each other

Just realize

What I just realized

That we'd be perfect for each other

And we'll never find another

Just realize

What I just realized

We'd never have to wonder

If we missed out on each other, now

Missed out on each other now

Missed out on each other now

Missed out on each other now

"chemistry, either you have it or you don't."
~ meredith grey

brrrrrrr...

This is what the sign would look like in my bedroom...

Yes, I am serious. My house is freezing. Absolutely freezing. The heat has not worked since we dipped into this cold spell. The lack of heat in the rest of the apartment has caused me to hole up in one room of my apartment, huddled around a tiny little space heater.

Unfortunately due to my job, my time spent studying, and my back problems, I have not been home for long enough to have the landlady come examine our problem. Ugh! My goal today is to go home at lunch, visit JoAnn, and ask her when we can have someone come in to fix the problem.

How nice will it be to spend time in a room other than the living room...

Flashback...

Sara Spurgeon and I cheering for MVHS Soccer, either 1999 or 2000.

Last night as I was cleaning and going through some boxes that I have managed to never unpack, I ran across old pictures from my younger years. i.e. College and High School.

I sat on the floor for over an hour flipping through the pictures, reminiscing about the good times...

For your entertainment I will show you a few of the pictures... the less embarassing ones of course!

Classic drunk Cindy, even back then I did the finger dance!!
KAT House, 2001.

My older sister, Chrissie, and I pre-Phling my Freshman year and her Senior year. This is the only picture of us from the year that we went to school together!

2001.

Hanging out with Shaq on the porch of the KAT House, 2002.

Jess Case and I at the KAT House, pre-Phling 2002.

Porsche Lao and I at the ZAP Nerds Gone Wild Party 2003.

Jess, my Partner-in-Crime, and I acting like the true nerds we were.

ZAP Nerds Gone Wild, 2003.

Jess, Kelly Gallagher and I in a tee-pee in the KAT House, 2002.

Porsche, her friend, and I before Zeta Formal our Senior year, 2003.

Abbey Simon, Tori Steen, Liz Raji, and I at Fandango, 2004.

Jen Judson, Porsche and I at "The Cove" post-Fandango, 2004.

Election Day

It is election day 2007. Of course it is an off-year election, but the races are hot in my part of the world. I am keeping my fingers crossed for the Chillicothe and Jackson mayoral races!

But although I am nervous for the local elections this year, I am already dreading Decision 2008!

"Gotta Have You" by The Weepies

Gray, quiet and tired and mean

Picking at a worried seam

I try to make you mad at me over the phone.

Red eyes and fire and signs

I'm taken by a nursery rhyme

I want to make a ray of sunshine and never leave home

No amount of coffee, no amount of crying

No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine

No, nothing else will do

I've gotta have you, I've gotta have you.

The road gets cold, there's no spring in the middle this year

I'm the new chicken clucking open hearts and ears

Oh, such a prima donna, sorry for myself

But green, it is also summer

And I won't be warm till I'm lying in your arms

I see it all through a telescope: guitar, suitcase, and a warm coat

Lying in the back of the blue boat, humming a tune...

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.

~Mother Teresa

As I compose my first post on my new blog, I sit here contemplating what will direct my next step in my life. Most of my life decisions stem from a practical idea or pragmatic approach to a goal. Recently, I have noticed that my decisions are coming from my heart.

I sit here thinking, "Is this wise?"

For me, NO WAY! The last time that I ended up following my heart, led me back to Ohio and away from the urban setting that I had become so very comfortable in. Thank the Lord, I am a strong believer in cliches. Everything Happens for a Reason is one of my favorites. And to think, if I would have never moved back to Ohio, I would have never thought of law school, I would have not ended up in SE Ohio, I would not have the dream job that I have now, and I would not have matured to the point I am at now.

This maturity is what is causing me to want to follow my heart. I have realized that I am head over heels for a really close friend of mine. We met Day 1 at Kenyon and were fast friends. He is one of the few people who has kept in contact with me since college. Not only has he been fun to hang out with when he is back in town, but he constantly reminds me that I should never settle, that I deserve the best. Now that I have become 100% confident in myself and happy with my current situation, I am ready to bring someone into my life. Before this point, I just was so unsure of my footing in the world and uncertain as to what was to come around the next bend. Now I know, and now I know what I want.

Although I finally know what I think I want, I have no idea how to approach it. How do you tell a friend that your feelings are more than just platonic? Any ideas? How do you know that you really want to risk your friendship?